***I recently put out a post on my facebook page http://www.facebook.com/pages/HauteFuture/149057205180776 asking aspiring writers to get in touch as each month I would like to publish two guest features... quite a few people go in touch which I really appreciate. The first guest feature I will publish is by a good friend Rob Hillier. Having spent the summer abroad he discussed with people from other cultures the idea of 'Casual Sex' and the debates he had provided him with food for thought... here are his musings on the topic! Thanks Rob :)***
Casual sex – How to Define It... by Rob Hillier
More and more often I hear casual sex mentioned by many different people, most importantly by both genders and sexualities. But what is casual sex, what makes it casual? And just why is it such a taboo subject in this day and age where society tends to be more accepting in general?
Having spent the whole summer working in Germany I’ve had the opportunity to meet people from different cultures and from this I’ve managed to argue the advantages of casual sex over and over to those who seem to frown upon it. Yet now it’s come to writing about it, I suddenly have a mixed opinion.
As a guy I think we have it easy and I'm sure most guys at any university would agree. A city with clubs and bars on most streets, drink prices sinking lower, and girls-a-plenty sounds like the perfect concoction... But is it such a good thing? For guys it’s simple, no emotional attachment or bad reputation (and a few lad points on offer afterwards as a reward!)Girls seem to have the bad deal here, the only reputation a girl can get from regular casual sex is bad and when it comes to the medical side it’s suddenly a bit more problematic for girls too – at least I don’t think any girl has gotten me pregnant before (to my knowledge!) Then there’s the continuous debate about protection; just who is responsible for that these days? Personally I think the guy should always be prepared but in the heat of things and with the alcohol-fuelled brain (or penis) doing the thinking, it’s not always the best solution to trust the guy.
Like I said I’ve spent a lot of time hearing from other people about the negatives to casual sex. My colleagues liked to inform me of the diseases at risk – of course I know about this and to be honest, in England I don’t think people are that concerned. This then brought them onto the topic once more of reputation. See this is where I started to really understand the problem with casual sex, okay, yes there are medical risks to it when it’s not “performed safely” but I think the underlying problem and negative stigma towards casual sex all stems down to the concern about the reputation you can get if you were to sleep around.
Ultimately then, the problem with casual sex is not so much the act itself but instead the aftermath of it all; what other people will think and what sort of reputation you will earn for it.
To sum up, I think casual sex is a good thing in moderation, with ‘moderation’ being the key word there. It’s clearly something which happens in society and evidently it doesn’t always have to be negative – but safely and in moderation I believe casual sex can be healthy and somewhat beneficial, but what do I know... I’m just a guy at university with clubs and bars on most streets, drink prices sinking lower, and of course girls-a-plenty. J
By Rob Hillier
***Thanks again Rob, this was insightful! If anyone else is interested in writing a guest feature for my blog please get in touch as soon as possible :) Look out for the next guest feature on the 26th of September, I can hardly wait! Take care lovelies