Recently, my best friend Vikki's douchebag boyfriend made all my dreams come true, by becoming her ex. Of course, that makes me feel like a massive bitch, because the beautiful Vikki (who can be found at her lovely blog Victoria's Vintage http://victorias-vintage.blogspot.com/) was quite upset by it. However, I know that she'll be much better off in the long run, because she is a million miles cleverer, sexier and funnier than I think he will ever be and that's just a few of the attributes which make me love her.
It makes me sad that she's not the only girl out there who is made to feel worthless by the guys in their life. It needs to stop.
Guys that don't respect you, don't deserve your respect! Simples. Even if the way he abuses you isn't as obvious as physical or sexual abuse, it still counts and he needs to lay off. Verbal, mental and emotional abuse are just as detrimental to your health as those types which leave bruises on your body and we shouldn't stand for it.
If he says you are ugly, know that you're gorgeous. If he says no-one likes you, call your friends. If he says he doesn't love you, find people that do. So, I guess it is easier said than done. Especially if you've been in a long relationship, no-one wants to break up with someone and feel like they've wasted all that time. Not to mention that getting back 'on the market' as such is never easy... You wonder, 'Will I ever find anyone else I love as much as I did with him? Will guys even think I'm attractive? Have I lost my appeal???' And you know what, I have to tell you that yes, you probably have lost your appeal... But only because he's taken your sparkle away and each extra day you waste being with him his insults and under-appreciation of you will steal another fleck of the glitter that makes you quintessentially you!
You know the best results come from taking steps we are afraid of. So take it! Ditch the loser. If you don't, you know you'll only be in the same position tomorrow or next week or next month and life is too short to throw away.
If you need another push, find a friend or sister or your mom and make them write a list of why they love you. Read it, then see that you are better off without him. Then be without him.
No-one ever said it would be easy! Actually, it will be really hard, I'm not going to lie. There will be days where you feel lonely, or sad, or even angry. Like, why did this happen to you? Why are you the one that ended up with a waste of space? Why didn't it work out? Are you a failure? What could you have done better? There must be something, and YOU couldn't work it out. Well, let me tell you that it's not your fault. If he couldn't see the amazing girl he had in front of him, and treat her as such, then he's the idiot, not you for choosing him.
The fact of the matter is, it happens to the best of us. We choose guys who we think are perfect for us at the time, then they end up being yet another frog and in the process turns us into a bit of an ogress... (I think I'm mixing up my fairytales...) And we all have to pay for it, by feeling really grim for days, weeks or months. But one day, you have to give yourself a slap in the face and just say, 'SNAP OUT OF IT!'
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop looking for answers. Stop contacting him. Stop talking about him. Stop dressing yourself for just in case you see him. Stop dreaming about him. Stop whining to your friends. Stop thinking you're a mess. Or if you can't stop, then fake it until you make it! It really will get better, I promise, and if it doesn't then you can come after me and I'll perform a forfeit of your choice :) Anything you choose. THAT'S how confident I am that you will rise above it.
So ditch the douche and rediscover all those things that you used to love about yourself! Pursue a project or catch up on your songwriting, blog posting or picture painting. Go for a run, join a club or make up a dance routine. Do something by yourself that will help you remember who you can be without him pushing you down.
Go chase your sparkle! That's what we all love you for and it's because we hope that there will be that light at the end of the tunnel that we are weathering the storm right now. We know that you're worth waiting for... just don't make us wait too long :)
You're worth a million of any guy that puts you down. Just remember that. Knowing your worth is the sexiest thing a girl can do, so be confident and do what makes you happy. I'll be right behind you!
Love as always